How I mastered a better relationship with time (melted stress away)

The shift to abundance created more time

Oh hello there! It’s Melissa from Grow Healthier + Happier. I’m loving the growth in my lil’ happy wellness publication on Substack. It’s a world of possibility here! Subscribe today to start creating your personal ‘holistic wellness lifestyle’.

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Are you trying to do everything under the sun, plus a day job?

Are you a multi-passionate creator?

✋ That’s me! At least it used to be. I look back two years ago and can’t believe I was trying to do so much. I was working a demanding 9-5, writing/blogging, creating a course, working on my website, staying on top of social media video posts, and other various projects. I was constantly going into burnout and bouts of depression because of it.

The most common thing I would say to myself was “I don’t have enough time”. I would say negative things about time all the time.

I feel like this negativity was me blaming time for what I didn’t accomplish, which got me nowhere.

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I’m going to share a personal note here. I let a friend down by trying to do too much and always feeling like I didn’t have enough time. I was helping her with her small business all the while feeling stressed and telling myself that I didn’t have time to do this. Yet, I would inconsistently help.

It didn’t work out well… I basically set myself up for failure in this situation.

What could I have done differently with my ‘time’ in this situation?

1. I could have been fully transparent and set boundaries around what I could realistically do around my available time.

2. If I had a better relationship with time (at that time) I would have adopted the mindset that I have the time to honor working with you X number of hours per week, nothing more. Instead, I was trying to fit in tasks here and there without structure. That only caused stress and burnout.

3. I also would have adopted the ‘less is more’ mindset and used that as a tool to let the tasks go that were not contributing to growth.

I’ve learned a lot about my relationship with time since then and would do things differently in the future.

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So, my 9–5 is here to stay, for now. But there is only so much time available outside my day job without sacrificing my health and happiness. I’m almost 50. My kids flew the coup.

Why would I kill myself working 60 hours a week now at this point in my life?

Nope — not going to happen!

I’ve been trying to do way too much since I got my nutrition/health coach certification. Once I started that one-year course, I started taking more health coaching and business courses because I knew I wanted more than the corporate job life. But, this ultimately led me to add a million things to my to-do list.

I wanted a website, a coaching business, to grow on all social media platforms, create recipes, video production, create courses, grow an email list, and create other digital products. Can anyone fit all of that in while also working a full-time job?

Probably not! At least not all at once.

I tried to do too much, and kept at it while saying almost daily “I don’t have enough time”.

Life after ‘time’ burnout

I kept going into burnout no matter how I rejiggered my schedule. Burnout paralyzes me. Then nothing gets done.

I felt such doom and gloom around the concept of time and the amount of things on my to-do list.

The thing is, this was all my choice. I chose to work on my passion projects! It turned into something unsustainable.

How I changed my relationship with time

One day on a walk I had a breakthrough. It just came to me out of nowhere (I get the best ideas in nature). I made the decision to manifest abundance with my time instead of telling myself I don’t have enough time.

I made the conscious decision to stop saying that I don’t have time to X or that I’m too busy to X.

I realized I was giving my time negative energy by saying these things. I don’t have room for negative energy in my life.

That changed everything.

Instead of saying that I don’t have enough time, now I say that I have an abundant amount of time to accomplish X.

I wrote it on a sticky note. I journaled about it. I made it the forefront of each day until it became a habit.

Then I started shaving things off my task list except for the most important things that I really wanted to do.

Focus on priorities that really matter

My new approach isn’t perfect and sometimes I falter, but it has helped me to hone in on what my priorities are and to let go of the things that are not contributing to my growth.

I don’t have to do it all and I don’t have to do it all right now.

I need to focus on what will help me grow at this stage of my wellness side hustle journey. For me, that is writing, creating a digital product, growing my email list, and focusing on just two primary social media platforms. That’s it right now. It is just enough to fill up the 2 hours per day and 4 hours on the weekends that I allot for side hustle work (WITHOUT BURNING OUT!)

The fact that I have a limited amount of time to work on my side hustle isn’t going to change. I am just choosing not to think of it as limited. The mindset shift to an abundance of time has had a positive domino effect on my stress levels and joy.

Tips for manifesting time abundance

Recognize that each moment we have is a gift

Slow time down by doing novel things

Use your time intentionally by knowing the ‘why’ behind what you are doing with your precious time

Be honest with yourself about your priorities

Be honest with yourself about your boundaries

Add buffer time to your tasks

Be ok with letting go of things that no longer serve you

Write this down every day until you know it to the core: “I have an abundance of time to do X”

Books that have helped me with time management in a healthy way

I wanted to share a few key books that I have read that were instrumental in creating a good relationship with time and how I spend my time with life, work, and my passion projects.

Uptime is my current read and it is pretty amazing. The realness from the author really draws me in.

In Uptime, Google's Executive Productivity Advisor, Laura Mae Martin, shares her experience and wisdom on how to make the "new way of work" not just manageable, but also fulfilling. Laura shares practical steps to help you prevent burnout, master your schedule, and achieve "productivity Zen." You’ll feel like your effortlessly on top of it all as you read! At least that is how I am feeling. I’m half-way through the book and take tons of notes.

Image from Amazon.com

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman came into my life after listening to him on a podcast.

In his book, Oliver reminds us that life is shockingly short—just over four thousand weeks if you’re lucky enough to live to eighty. Ooooof! Instead the typical productivity hacks he encourages the reader to rethink the approach to time entirely.

It’s a breath of fresh air…

The book isn’t about getting it all done. It’s more about embracing our finite existence and making choices that actually bring meaning and joy. The book shares how we can live more fully by accepting our limitations and finding fulfillment beyond our to-do list.

Image from Amazon.com

And more…

Focus: Bringing Time, Energy, and Money into Flow by Pedram Shojai

This one is obvious! The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss

One of my first reads on detangling my time management mess: Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown

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By embracing the idea that time is a resource that can be managed and maximized instead of hindering, it’s possible to find new ways to prioritize your goals and make the most of every moment of your ‘time’.

This can help you feel more motivated and empowered with what you chose to spend your time on.

I hope that you find and enjoy a newfound relationship with time after reading this.

I’d love to hear about your relationship with time in the comments! Can you share your valuable tips?

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ICYMI:

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Cheers to a fabulous relationship with time.